__D i p p i n g I n D i a m o n d s*__

You Know You're Chinese When....

Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
You eat all meals in the kitchen.
You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
You always leave your shoes at the door.
Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
You don't own any real Tupperware -- only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
You've eaten a red bean or corn Popsicle.
You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel. (hahaha... ghetto)
These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).
Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous.
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
You're a wok user.
You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh.
If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten rice, even if it's midnight.
Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air.
You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
Your parents are never happy with your grades.
You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
You have more than five remotes in your house.
You leave the plastic on the lampshade for ten years or more.
You can't bear to throw things away.
Your dad washes his hair four times a day, or never at all.
You've worn glasses at least since the second grade.
You've never seen your parents hug.
Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
You say "aiya!" and "wah!" frequently.
You love to play mah jong.
You have a big aquarium filled with colorful fish somewhere in your house.
You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.
Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.
Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.
You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions.
You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives.
Your parents collect jade jewelry.
You use doilies to decorate your furniture.
Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers.

FaLLeN AngeLThere's A Bitch Inside All Of Us
- 2:57 AM